New Day Promo Week 5

[Deleted]

Big E: AWWWWWWWW SACRAMENTOOOOOO; DON’T YOU DARE
BE SOUR
CLAP
FOR YOUR NEWWWWWWW TAG CHAMPS
AND FEEEEEEEL
THE POWAHHHHHHHHHHH
*its a new day, yes it is*
*New Day Music hits, as Big E, Kofi, and Xavier come out*


*New Day enter the ring, as Xavier Woods takes a mic*

*Criwd chants “New Day Rocks”

Xavier Woods: *Smiles* Now, usually we’d come out here and explain why we’re the best tag team of all time, and crack a few jokes for you guys but.. seeing as evidence of us being the best is uh... *here*, we figured we’d do something a little different. 

BIG E: You see, the holidays are a-coming, and thanksgiving is our closest destination and while we feel we are the greatest, we also are humble. 

Kofi: And in the spirit of thanksgiving, we are thankful for many things. We’re thankful for these titles,

Xavier: We’re thankful for our GM nemesis 

Big E: We’re thankful for you fans for buying our booty

Xavier: O’s. 

Big E: What?

Xavier: Booty.. O’s. It’s just you made it sound like they..
*Crowd laughs*

Well anyways more than anything, ya boys are thankful for someone, but who?

*Who chants*

The Bullet Club and The Bar and the Usos.. any other irrelevant team in the back, you guys get a huge Thank You  because thanks to your incompetence, it looks like, ya boys will be your WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSSS, for the foreseeable future, and so for that we thank you.

Big E:Though if we’re being honest we’d be your tag champs even if those teams were worthy... BEEEEEEECAUSE
*NEW DAY ROCKS CHANT*

[dbsmentality]

Mene Gene: Just recieved the breaking news about The New Day and the Tag Team Championship and just ran into Bobby The Brain Heenan. Brain...what are your thoughts?

Heenan: You have got to be kidding me.......YOU...HAVE GOT...TO BE KIDDING ME? I mean really? Gene....what the hell is going on around here? Is it a coincidence or what? Now it's clear as day....CLEAR as A NEW DAY....that The Heenan Family is getting screwed around here.



Obviously something was up with the Colons. They were cheating....bribing....got caught...and what does Nemesis do to cover his ass? He somehow gets them DEPORTED back to their dump of a country. 

But it doesn't stop there. So now...instead of us getting what's rightfully owed to us.....The New Day waltzes right on in here and NEMESIS has the gall.....the AUDACITY...to slap me in the face....SLAP US...in the face....and just AWARD these Disney Channel REJECTS the Tag Team Championship. 

I mean what the hell?? Gene...does that look right to you?


Mean Gene: Well I mean its not up to me to...

Heenan: Right...shut up stupid....it's not. There is clearly something going on against us in this league and I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Wait until I tell the guys about this. 

*Heenan storms off*

Mene Gene: Well there you have it....a very upset Bobby The Brain Heenan.

[Deleted]

*Renee Young catches up with The New Day before they leave*

Renee: New Day, after hearing the rant given by Bobby Heenan, what is yo-

Xavier: I hate to do it Renee but I have to cut you off a bit short, see I’m actually late on my next upupdowndown upload and we need to get back to our hotel. Plus, like w-we.. we don’t even know who that is so if you’ll excuse us..


Renee (as they jog away): They could be challenging for your tag titles soon..!

*New Day get into their vehicle and are on their way to their hotel as Big E decides to look up Bobby Heenan*

Big E: So uh apparently these guys are a team called the Heenan Family..?

Xavier: Man I heard of those cats. 

Didn’t they lose last week? Anyways I’ll handle this 

*Xavier starts recording a video for upload to social media*



Xavier: What’s up guys it’s ya tag champs here and well *laughs* apparently we’ve ruffled a few feathers in the locker room, Mr. uh “Brain” Heenan in particular. Look I can honestly say we had no idea you guys were even a team until earlier. But apparently you competed last week.. and lost. If i were you I’d stick to building up wins opposed to questioning, ya boys. 


Big E: If you’re the Brain, perhaps we need to.. FEAST on those brains hah, call me zombiE. Get it? 

Kofi: That was bad man. *thumbs down*

Xavier: What he’s trying to say is, please please honey, sit down unless you and your sissy boys would like a “brain” aneurysm.

Video ends

[Deleted]

*USOS THEME*









Corey Graves: Welcome to the Usos' penitentiary
 guys.


Jey Uso: Wow, wow, wow. Congratulations, keep on doing on what you been doin'. I'm really impressed tonight New Day.



Jimmy Uso: You see, we kept doing what we been doin', which is put the entire tag team division on LOCK!
 Welcome, to the USO PENITENTARY!


Jey Uso: You always want to play jokes. Booty O's this, Booty O's that. Well you see, we got jokes for YOU! Get em' Us'.



Jimmy Uso: Big E, lets start with you, BOI, you the only PERSON, who if you weared a BRA, It gotta' be EXTRA, EXTRA LARGE! You're WHOLE ATTIRE can fit those MAN BOOBS!



Jey Uso: Boi Kofi, you used to be the Jamaican Sensation *Crowd Cheers*, you are in the New Day, but you also the PRECIPITATION! BOI LOOK AT YOU'RE HAIR! RAIN DROPS, DROP TOPS! BOY, YOU CAN USE THAT HAIR TO MAKE A STRING TO PULL DOWN A WINDOW SHADE! *Crowd Laughs*.



Jimmy Uso: XAVIER, BOI, YOU CAN GIVE YOU'RE SHOES TO THE HOMELESS AND THEY STILL WON'T TAKE IT! OHHH, YOU THINK THE NEW DAY ROCKS, WELL, YOU BETTER COVER THOSE SHOES WITH NEW DAY SOCKS! AVALIABLE FOR $1, THE AMOUNT YOU PAYED FOR THOSE SHOES!



Jey Uso: You see, you guys were always a joke. The matter of fact is, you guys never had skill to take the Usos, or anyone else down. You see, next time you step in the ring with the Usos, you will feel these cold blooded hands behind you, infront of you, and all around you.



Jimmy Uso: You see, there ain't no more laughter. YALL GON' FEEL YOU'RE GOOSEBUMPS RUNNING THROUGH YOUR BODY. YOU GON' FEEL THESE HANDS LIKE SOMEONE CREEPIN' BEHIND YOU. WHEN WE GET THE BELT, WE GON' FEEL THE GLORY, AND THE POWER.



Jey Uso: BUT JIMMY, WE ALREADY FEEL THE POWER. WE ARE THE MOST DOMINANT TAG TEAM IN THE WWE. NO ONE CAN'T TAKE US DOWN. YOU SEE NEW DAY, YOU CAN'T EITHER. YOU WILL NEVER TOP GLORY LIKE US AND BECOME SO DOMINANT LIKE US. YOU CAN'T FIX US, OR REPAIR US, BECAUSE WE ARE ALREADY FIXED AND WE ARE AT THE TOP, WAITING FOR THE NICE, GLORIOUS, TAG TEAM BELTS, AROUND THE USOS. THIS NOT PARANOIA', THIS THE US *Crowd says OS*



Jimmy Uso: OS! *Crowd Boos*



*THEME HITS*